Wednesday, December 30, 2009

...hubbies were managed, in those days...

'Tis a season of weddings. Actually there are no specific season for weddings. Everyday is a good day to get married so it seems. But no, to some ethnic groups there can be days that are 'pantang' or forbidden, a definite no no haha. In some societies, the wedding day could be determined by other factors, natural, or unnatural as the case may be.

Oh well, again, as I was springkleening, throwing old documents, as a matter of discipline (hmmm) or ritual..ya..that's more like it, ritual, I stumbled upon this fotocopy of an unedited extract of a 150th anniversary of the Straits Times (1845-1995). Published on May 1, 1885 in what was at the time 'The Straits Times and Singapore Journal of Commerce'.

I have been to quite alot of wedding invites lately and there's a few more to come actually, hehe so I thought reproducing this article on my blog, might provide some pointers to the newlyweds, to the bride (hehe) especially, in managing their hubbies in the old fashion way hehe. oops sorry.. for both, the bridegroom too, hehe. Here goes:

"The Management of Husbands - Men as a rule, marry women for love, yet we see everyday these one-time happy doves drifting apart and acting as though separation would be the happiest end for both. To marry for love simply, is absurd. Unless there is a large amount of respect on either side, the flame of love soon dies out, leaving a barren manor for the dwellers thereon. However, supposing you had a husband whom you wish to twirl round your little finger, you must love him "with all your heart, with all your soul. " etc.; and love you feel will make it possible to put up with all those little discrepancies which crop out in man's nature when you come alive with him. In the first place, should your husband be a man in business, who comes home tired to death, cross, and worn out, do not at once entertain him with the trouble you have gone through the day. Meet him with a smile, take his hat and overcoat from him and let him severely alone until he has toned down with a good dinner, after which he will be in a position to listen to any thing you may have to say; but I always found it an excellent plan to hide disagreeables entirely from a husband's notice. Men don't want to have a repetition of annoyances at home when they have so many in their daily path outside, and believe me, the effect of keeping household squabbles out of your husband's knowledge wonderfully enhances your value as a wife. You don't know how a man appreciates a loving welcome and a good dinner after the toil of the day. Men are gregarious animals, and will wander in spite of allurements, but they are selfish enough to remain where they are best treated, and the years that follow will, as a rule, find the husband always glad to go back to the pretty home where smiles await him and the dinner I spoke of." -unedited extract May 1, 1885

Ya ya ya..you may say 'ala itu zaman dulu punye stail' (that's the ancient way). But then again, why not? Give it a try. You never know, sometimes the old ways work better (wink2x). Yeah, all those macho men out there (endangered species i dread to think they may one day become, if not already are..haha)...think you can handle it like your grandpa did? My apologies ladies, I know times have changed. That ancient write-up by today's standards, may sound a little offensive and chauvinistic but hey...it has alway been a two-way tingy, right? wink2x...





12 comments:

Anonymous said...

eh halo, speak for yourself. There are those who treat men like those days..but look men even though they get treated as such, they still run astray, its not a matter of how the wifes treated them. Its whether they want to do it or not.

Khaeruddin Sudharmin said...

eh helo. firstly u r anonymous, which i don't have to layan ok? secondly, eh helo pls don't get personal. i was just sharing an old article i read. wasn't implying women today are not treating men like they used too. i knw plenty do and plenty of assholes don't appreciate tht. u faham ke article tuh? sori..i am assuming ur a frustrated malay woman full of vemon for men...oops ahaks,,sori if my guess was wrong. c'mon, cheer up. its new year's eve ok? pls don't spoil my day. everyone is entitled to their opinion...asking me to speak for myself is rather offensive. if u nak gaduh dgn i, please identify yourself. otherwise cuntsider ths my first and last time i will ever respond to and publish yr comments ok? happy new year!

Anonymous said...

My apologies. what i wanted to say is men are basically assholes. I'm not picking a fight with you. Its only the write up which is bias. Men always wants women to pamper them but do they ever think of what women wants! Anyway, I think you are ok and that I know you are successful with your work and homefront. You are quick to assume that I'm Malay. Do all Malay women act that way?? Hmmm....

farahaznil said...

hmm i think anonymous said like that because she has bad experienced recently in her relationship...ho ho ho..malay??i dont think so...my opinion is,any race will have same problems like anonymous said with their partner..

anyway..if u want the best marrige in ur life..make sure that ur partners have 4 condition..asset,appearance,descent n religion..ho ho ho....that is the best way meh...cewah2..jd ustazah suda..hahahahaha

Khaeruddin Sudharmin said...

apology accepted..hehe. u kate 'speak for yourself' tuh yg saya melompat tuh..hahaha. yeah many are assholes, agreed and do not appreciate but, many too are not like that. so its not fair to stereotype ok? what about men yg kene 'dera'? or women who behave similarly? asshole types...hehe. like in any management scenario, there's no right or wrong, it depends ok? wink2x.

farah: yer ustazah..tq he3x

farahaznil said...

hahhaa..yups its dpend meh...men yg kena dera..common thing juga..queen control la katakan..hi hi hi..how about u write another post about queen control plak??mst gempak punyaaaa.... (^-^)

Yanie said...

asset,appearance,descent n religion... from this 4, which one comes 1st? any opinion? (persediaan diri)hehehehe

Kak Teh said...

amboi2, such an interesting article. Seves to show that it still pays to hoard old stuff (including spouse! hehe!) anyway, someone i met recently said you'll be heading your way here again next month. nanti kita jumpa laa. i know that i will get an sms from you when you land.

Khaeruddin Sudharmin said...

wahlauweh..kat teh juz commented on my post he3x. wif her 5 digit following (hmm pobly 6 digits now or even more)..a comment frm her is rare n treasured. ya ya am headin yr way next mth, the finnish chappies have not confirmed the dates and i juz can't schedule or reschedule wot wif board mtgs coming up, speaking engagements, weddings n all..haiyya. yeah u knw u will get a SMS juz before i take off or as soon as the plane touches down at heathrow LOL...oh ya i was with idris last week at prof mohd kamal (marketing) UiTM son's wedding kat KGSAAS. che pah is oredi in LA, aidee (pak derih laa) will follow suit. last kopek in the US before he retires or his contract with the grp he is working with, ends. a foto of us during tht wedding is on my facebook (wink2x)...

yanie said...

bila nak updated yg baru... dah lama tak membaca nnie

Anonymous said...

Hi
Very nice and intrestingss story.

Khaeruddin Sudharmin said...

Tq anonymous...sorry I have not been blogging quite awhile now..he2x